A Youth Pastor's 4 Biggest Challenges
Recently I've been thinking about what it takes to be a youth pastor in today's age of social media. Scott Black is the youth pastor for Hillside Community Church. He's does an amazing job connecting with the kids each week investing his time, his talents and his gifts into the life of teenagers.
Scott is not only a tremendous youth pastor, but he's an amazing husband, father and one of my closest friends. I asked Scott if he would share the biggest challenges and struggles he faces pastoring teens each week. Below is his very honest and transparent response.
I remember being 13 in San Antonio Texas. I was invited to go cave exploring with some friends and their youth pastor. Church was not something I wanted to be a part of, but an adventure in a cave? Now that sounded like a great time. Before entering the cave they all stood at the entrance in a small circle and began talking to someone I couldn't see. They were praying to the God they believed in. It was odd and I wanted no part. As the day went on, before every new tunnel they all would pray. I would watch them and hear the passion and honest belief in someone they could not see. By the end of the day I found myself standing in that same circle I felt so uncomfortable watching just hours before. It was at this point the youth pastor asked me if I knew God and what his son Jesus had done dying for me. It was at that moment he led me in to a prayer that would change my life forever. Over the next few years this man would mentor me, take the time out of his day to reach out to me and help me understand who God is and how I could grow closer to Him.
Fast forward a few years. I now am 20, not long out of high school and living in Bristol, Connecticut. I find myself at my Uncle's church and working with the youth. I was just a helper, with no real responsibility. All I had to do was be friends with teens not much younger than myself. 20 years later, I am now the Youth Pastor at Hillside Community Church in Bristol, Connecticut.
Over the last 2 decades, I have learned many things about the youth that have come through the church doors. I have grown to love our teens but at the same time I have been absolutely devastated by these same teens. Youth work is one of the hardest things you will ever do for God. You invest so much of your life and heart only to see them walk away. Some make mistakes that change their lives forever. No matter how much you give advice or preach the word of God to them, more times than you would like they break your heart.
Here are some of the 4 biggest challenges I have come up against over the last 20 years.
PARENTS
Now before I get started, if you are a parent invested in your child's life with God and are helping them grow in their faith then this is not for you. So don't get defensive and tune me out. There are some truly great parents out there that are a blessing to our ministry. They have more influence on these young people's relationship with God than they realize. Without the support of the parents, the job of a youth pastor is so much harder. In my experience, there are two different type of parenting groups. The first being the "church parent." These are the parents that attend either your church or another church in the community, yet do not make youth group a priority and end up surprised when their children share that same value. Our children will mimic our lives. They watch us even when we do not know they are. They pick up what they see us placing first in our lives. If we place everything in our lives before God and before the church, we cannot be surprised when they do likewise. The second group of parents are the "non-church parents." Like I mentioned earlier, there are parents out there that are great. They love their children and like that they come to youth group. However, there are the ones with children who sometimes reflect their life choices. They do not share the same beliefs we are trying to instill in their teens, therefore making it harder to keep consistent growth in the teens' lives. Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out. (I still have my hair, by the way.)
FRIENDS
I have seen this dynamic year after year with more teens than I can count. I have teens in my group who are truly engaged with their peers and the message I teach each week. They worship, they take notes, they have a heart for God. But this same teen will also be the teen at school just trying to fit in, giving into what the world says is cool or acceptable. They are afraid to stand up and shout out for God. We can't fault them for this - I know adults that live this same way. It is hard at any age not give into peer pressure. But take yourself back to the days when you yourself were trying to learn who you are, just going through life trying to fit in.
SOCIAL MEDIA
In today's age, this is a HUGE challenge. The good news is that I can see what my teens are doing. The bad news is I can see what my teens are doing. This is one of the most frustrating things to see as a youth pastor. As teens come in, they become your friend on Facebook. Then, they continue to live their lives. In front of EVERYONE. There are times I think that a social filter doesn't exist anymore. They post everything that is on their minds ... EVERYTHING. This is another tool I think was invented to break my heart. I am pretty sure it was invented for this single purpose. As a youth pastor you no longer need to pry out what the youth in your group are going through. They just post it. They shamelessly pour out their hearts for the world to see without even a thought of the long term effect on doing this or who is looking. If you want to know the teens in your group, just go to their page, scroll through it and begin praying for them.
ME
Lets face it, I'm old. I have been at this for 20 years. Every week I have to find a way to stay relevant while teaching these young people. (not to mention my bed time is now 10pm so I'm tired, too) I do not have the energy I once had. But I do still have the drive and the heart for these kids. Every week I come through the doors with excitement and hope knowing that God is doing amazing things in their lives. Every week I watch kids ages 11 to 18 draw closer to God. That is what drives and motivates me.
I know reading this it might seem like I struggle being a youth pastor and that it's not rewarding. The truth is, I thank God everyday for putting teens on my heart. For every struggle or devastated feeling, there is a story of success. A story of a teen who had no clue who God was and now is worshiping Him alongside me. I have teens who are currently working in ministry. Teens going to bible school and teens that you would have thought had no chance to make it now are thriving in life and their walk with God. I love going to the store or a restaurant and running into an adult who knows me from when they were in youth group. There is not a single day that goes by I do not thank God for my life and for the direction He has taken me and my family.
Thank you God for giving me this calling.