Why I Don't Drink Alcohol

When I turned 21 years old, my friend Ed and I decided to go to a local bar where he would buy me my first beer as a person of legal age. When Ed handed me the Budweiser, I remember looking at the bottle, and thinking, wow, I'm old enough to drink this. In society, there's something about turning 21 that is glorified simply because it allows you consume an alcoholic beverage legally. It's cool to drink. It's fun to go party with your friends and get to the point of being inebriated.  That night in the bar, holding that beer, I decided I would stand there, talk with my friends, holding that beer like I was cool. The funny part about it was I never even came close to finishing that one beer. I had 2 sips the entire night and thought it was most horrible tasting thing I'd ever tried.  It was also the last time I had a beer of any kind.Growing up, alcohol was a constant in many parts of my family. I remember Genesse beer cans all around the house when we would visit our relatives. Holidays and birthdays were always accompanied by alcohol. While my brothers and I were playing with our toys or watching TV, my grandparents, along with my aunts and uncles would be playing cards, and having their booze. Just like eating, or breathing, alcohol was a very normal thing in my family's household. We were young so we thought nothing of it, but as we grew older, we began to see the pattern becoming more prevalent.In high school, I wasn't much of a party guy. While my friends may have been hanging out, drinking, or whatever, that wasn't my cup of tea. It wasn't that I was against drinking, I just preferred going to the movies, or watching sports over going to a party.As I entered college, I saw and felt the pressures of drinking. We lived in an off-campus apartment and having our own place felt like the ultimate freedom at 19 years old. With that freedom came parties. With parties came alcohol. With the music blaring, people dancing and holding their red cups filled with beer, everyone seemed to be doing what college kids did. But not me. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to drink and fit in more than anything. I definitely felt the pressure of wanting to fit in and be a part of what others were doing but I never drank and I never got drunk.At first, it was simple. I didn't like the taste of beer. That was an easy reason not to drink. I tried other forms of alcohol as well --- wine, liquor, wine coolers, spritzers, etc ... However, there was a deeper rooted issue about not drinking. In a word: FEAR.My Dad has been an alcoholic since the late 1970's. He's gone through 2 divorces, the loss of jobs, friends, and even at different points of his life, the loss of a relationship with his kids and grandkids. All because of his addiction to alcohol. My father wasn't someone who could enjoy just a beer or two. He was a heavy, angry drinker, who couldn't control his urge. As I wrote about in a blog post in 2014, I had a very rough relationship with my Dad for many years and only within the last few years, was I able to truly forgive him for the damage he did to himself and to my family.(Update: My Dad has been sober now for 3+ years and is doing fantastic.)People often ask me why I don't drink. Once I tell them the answer, the next thing they'll often ask is "Is it ok that I'm having this beer in front of you?" My answer is always, "OF COURSE". I have nothing against alcohol, nothing against drinking beer, or any other type of adult beverage. If you want to indulge, please do. I know many many great people, people of faith, people from work, others, who can enjoy a beer or two and be fine. Others however, can't stop once they start. That's what scares me.So the answer is simple. Why don't I drink? Why have I never been drunk? Why do I order a diet coke or water when others order a beer?Fear.Fear that I will turn into my father. Fear that my daughter will look at me someday the way I looked at my Dad for so many years.  I'll do EVERYTHING I can to make sure that doesn't happen with my Sarah.The Bible has the words "Fear Not" mentioned in it over 350 times. As a follower of Christ, I should probably take that advice. However in this case, I'll likely go to my grave having never been drunk because of that word -- fear.